Dilbert and the world of military intelligence

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Read Dilbert. Then you’ll know exactly what the higher end of military intelligence work is like. A bunch of smart people who get bored and start arguing about the color of Power Point slides. I’ve never really worked in an office environment before the intel world, but I think it drives people insane. To the point where they can barely function in any other aspect of life other than intel. They’ll spend three hours tweeking a single PP slide, to get that just-right shade of green that the Colonel likes on his borders. Need real analysis on the psychological makeup of a dangerous insurgent leader? What will this guy do next? Will he cooperate with us if we offer peace? Is he only trying to get our help so that he can destroy his tribal enemies?

Well, don’t ask most people in the intel field. They can show you every nuance of the latest app. They can almost get Power Point to make coffee. But real analysis? No, that takes talent. You can barely teach it. The best analysts are the ones that just get it. Many won’t like my take on that. It’s not scientific enough. Oh but it is scientific, I’m just not describing it in a scientific way. Real Intel analysis has a human face. Nerds hate human faces. They feel much safer around 0011000101110111100111……

Then you’ll get the PHDs over at the Human Terrain Team. Good, smart people most of them. Speak multiple languages, write awesome reports. I’ve read them and used them recently. But then you’ll get that one PHD who’s just downright insane. The person that’s only here because they have a PHD. You know, the soft, social-science type. The one who’s completely out of their league in a war zone, so makes a great effort in messing up the daily lives of their allies, acting territorial. “Don’t try to steal my stuff!” I guess they just want to give the world a Coke. Instead, the world over here is smoking hashish and opium,  waving an AK and studying bomb-making.

So not cool. But Dilbert would be right at home over at HTT.

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3 thoughts on “Dilbert and the world of military intelligence

    Amos Volante said:
    August 14, 2010 at 3:12 am

    Sounds like your peers should try 2-3 years in the ad industry:

    They would quickly run back to MI and beg for their old jobs back, and repent.

    I have peers who think like this. There is a place for them.

    And it is not in service to the taxpayer.

    Amos Volante said:
    August 14, 2010 at 3:13 am

    On a side note:

    As someone with a PhD in my lap, reading this blog with me:

    Are these people unable to get tenure at ANY college in the entire US that they have to scrape up jobs with The G?

    Gimme a break:

    Ad industry wanna-bees AND professor wanna bees in the same area of op?

    Madness!

    magus71 responded:
    August 14, 2010 at 4:13 am

    Like any other written article, perhaps my article does show only a small sliver of the reality. But it’s still there.

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