Over the years I’ve noticed something about women: they require an incredible amount of attention compared to men. Years ago when I was regularly playing men’s slow pitch softball, several men on my team would not be able to play in weekend tournaments or would say that they got into an argument with their girlfriend or spouse over the games. The woman did not want her man to play. No plans were cancelled because of the tournaments that I can remember. She simply wanted the husband or boyfriend to “be around”. And please know that in Maine where I played, the softball season is quite short and there are not many tournaments, even in the summer.
Even today I see examples of women who get angry at their husbands if their attention wanders from the woman. For instance, if a man plays video games, or wants to read a book, or even just have some coffee with a buddy, many of these women become quite upset.
This is an extraordinary need for control and attention. If the roles were reversed, and a man were telling a woman what she can and can’t do with her time, it’s easy to imagine the cliche’ responses from the woman’s friends. Obviously everyone needs attention, but I have seen cases where a woman will create a need right after her husband becomes distracted by something other than her.
All of this leads me to believe that the feminist movement didn’t in fact make many women independent. It may have made them more powerful, but this is something different than independence.
I believe much of this is the result of the massive changes in our culture over the last 50 years. What is the “role” of a man and woman in the family environment? In Army parlance, what is their lane? Lincoln stated, “A house divided cannot stand.” What for instance, is the mechanism for dispute resolution in many of today’s households? It is separation and divorce. In my grandmother’s day, that was not the answer. When she and my grandfather disagreed on something, my grandfather was the final arbiter on what flew and what didn’t . Today, many disputes result in persistent conflict because there are no cultural rules as to how they are resolved. Divorce rates have skyrocketed in the last 100 years of our county’s history, though they have co0me down a bit in the last couple of decades.
I once heard someone say: “No one knows how to be a parent when their first child is born.” And they are mostly correct. However, people used to know how to be parents, because they were taught how things ought to be from a very early age. Now, we reinvent the wheel with every birth and we’re paying dearly for this. We have witnessed the advent of the adolescent adult. Men don’t grow up until they’re 40 in some cases. And so it is with how women act now. There are no rules. They make it up as they go along.
I meet more and more men who just don’t want to be in relationships anymore. Most of them have come to the conclusion that if the relationship is not going to make their lives better, what’s the point? The result is fewer marriages and fewer children, and more unhappy people in my opinion. Despite everything, women are more unhappy than before the onslaught of Second Wave Feminism.
Militant egalitarianism is making us miserable. No organization can succeed if there are no rules and everyone is in charge.